Ponderings...

I have always been the biggest. I was always the fattest kid at school, the fattest person in the shopping centre, the fattest person at a work party, friends party, night club... whatever. I have been fat since I was 6, I am now 43. I have been fat forever, or as long as forever feels for me. My well meaning friends have said 'Kay, we can't imagine you thin, being bigger suits you'... or the good old classic 'You have such a pretty face, if only you could lose some weight'. Oh, the unspoken pain these well meaning friends can bring with these little remarks. But anyway, I have digressed.

I am now no longer the biggest. Not because of the measly 5kg I have lost in 2 months, but because the population really is getting fatter. I guess I really started to notice it about 10 years ago, so many more fat people. The clothes sizes have changed also. When I was a teenager there really was absolutely no decent looking clothes for anyone over size 18. I guess it's hard to understand that these days, but the clothing on the racks literally stopped at 18. There were specialist stores that sold kaftans for the fatties, but apart from getting your clothes made for you, that was pretty much it for larger sized clothing. Mostly larger sized ladies did get their clothing made for them.. sewn themselves, or by a friend or by the local seamstress. But these days, all the way up to size 26 in the regular old department stores like Target or BigW. We have no idea how much we larger ladies and gents are spoiled for choice these days ;) Not to mention the fantastic plus sized clothing in stores such as Autograph... gorgeous clothing.

When I first needed a bra, at the tender age of 11, my grandmother took me shopping... I had no mother around so it was my grandmother who tended to these types of girl things. I remember looking at these tiny training bra's, that 'all' the girls my age were wearing, and thinking... they wont go around me. The lady who was serving us didn't know what to do, the smallest woman's bra that would go around me had a C cup attached to it, which my little breasts just swam in. My grandmother spent the whole time appologising for my size, it was such a horrible, hurtful experience. Not the usual exciting time that most young girls have when they are buying their first bra. It was just embarrassing and demeaning and I couldn't wait to get out of that shop. In the end we didn't buy a bra. About a week later my aunty gave me an old bra she had and that was my one and only bra I had... for about 3 years. Now you can get 26B... oh the times they are a changing.

I saw at least 5 people who were bigger than me today while I was out and about shopping... I must have been ahead of my time ;)